A Grief Observed

I just read the most beautiful piece. The story of a mom-to-be. Ripe with anticipation, love, birth songs and bursting hearts. The reality of delivering a baby with Down Syndrome wasn't part of their script. Traveling her journey of words made my heart full. Happy. Hopeful. Thoughtful.

The last 30 days have been the strangest of my life. While I didn't prepare for the birth of a baby or have Down Syndrome slice through my life, I have watched life break in half. I caught a very small, broken heart and did my best to stitch it back together. I shared tales of my own losses. My husband shared the same while his own heart ripped in two. I nursed bruises that weren't visible and wiped tears that wouldn't stop pouring. I made promises that things would get better. and that the human heart really couldn't break in half physically, even if it felt like it. I did my very best to weave something beautiful, believable and precious out of a situation that was none of those things.

Above all of that, I sought the Lord. Something I haven't done that fervently in a very long time. I didn't want to at first. I was so sad. Furious. Desperate. Annoyed.

The thing about God? He's there. Whether we acknowledge Him or not.

Almost one month has passed and I've realized a few things.

THE heart of a ten-year-old is resilient.

THREE are better than one

LOSING someone to cancer sucks today just as much as it did 12 years ago.

THE loss of a loved one is tragic-whether human or animal.

"PAT ANSWERS" don't work when death is imminent. Honesty is important

THE LORD is faithful - even when I am not.

FRIENDSHIP is an investment. I've never been more thankful for mine.

Life is fickle. Whether you're ready for it to move on or not, it simply does.

"He is my constant source of stability." Isaiah 33:6

Ladybug, we miss you, sweet kitty. Hope opened up her DSi today and was faced with reminder after reminder of your many photo sessions and how much she loved you. I don't know another cat who was so loyal - or who could rock a pink snow cap the way you did. Thank you for investing in our lives - and for allowing us to be your family. RIP, Ladybuggies. RIP.

10/96 - 2/27/10

Hope saying goodbye to her trusted companion and most loyal friend.

Our memorial to Ladybug - balloons with messages that we let loose to the heavens to meet Ladybug there.