Poor Ladybug is getting old and very - "hairbally." She's a short-haired tabby, but you'd never know it after a hairball escapade. There's a telltale urping noise that this feline omits. A half-asleep stupor found me pushing said cat off of the bed before the damage was done. On the comfortor, anyhow.
Too much information for the weak of stomach, I'm sure. Since that's the perfect description of me, 2:36 am finds me at the computer. Man. Alive.
My "gratitude list" has fallen to the wayside. I am deeply ashamed. No big excuses. Life. Busy routine. Lack of blogginess in general. Lame excuses. I know this.
My Dad and sister stopped over on their way to California this weekend. They took a 22-hour train ride to Oakland, CA to visit my Aunt and a portion of "the cousins." My decision not to go came late in the planning game. It was difficult to say "no" for a gaggle of good and true reasons - scheduling, finances, work, babysitters. All true. And good. As the decline made its way into the universe, I believe I heard a large sigh of relief. Birds sang. Trees bloomed. Mice with ribbon began creating the dress for the ball. Seriously.
My sister, Katie is Dad's traveling companion on this adventure. We texted along the first 12 hours of the route. I loved seeing them, laughing and visiting with Katie and being silly at the train station made me question my decision. As the texts came, I felt slighty grieved that I wasn't able to find a way to go. Come day break, I shot her a four-word text: "How was the night?" She replied with one word: LONG.
Instead of the universe, it was me omitting the long sigh of relief. "LONG" in Katie's world translates into "a small piece of personal hell" in mine. There's not a doubt in my mind that 22 hours would have ended with neither my Dad or Katie speaking to me. It would be top any other family tale that speaks to my nerosis. "Four Days on the Rogue River with Kris" would be but a distant memory.
'Nuff said. Onto the list of gratitude, beginning with number 111.
111. My sister, Katie
112. Side-splitting, gag-inducing laughter.
113. Shared history - no matter how painful or ridiculous.
114. My Dad.
115. Listening to the still small voice that directs in difficult circumstances.
116. The continued adventure of growing up.
117. Trusting, even when it seems impossible.
118. Knowing that "it's not you" is really true.
119. Sharing Anne Lammott's writings with someone for the first time.
120. Hearing that someone loves the writings of Anne Lammott.
121. Understanding that not everyone is going to be my friend.
122. Being okay when someone "doesn't get me."
123. Changed perspective.
124. Friends that have history together.
125. Wanting to grow.
126. Not deleting someone from my facebook. Even though they deserve it.
127. Stopping myself from going to said person's facebook every day. Or ever again.
128. Praying for people who have hurt me.
129. Living outside wants and desires.
130. Cleaning up cat puke at 2:30 am from our aging cat.
131. Knowing that the weekend wasn't complete because one person was missing.
131. Both of my sisters.
Here's to a monday of gratitude. And aiming to lay my head back down at 3 am for a few more hours of rest. Be blessed. :) k
1 comment:
again....awaiting tears to clear so i can see the screen and keyboard..while i utterly HATE..yes..i said HATE..joshua newman...for making me the wife that i was and moving me so friggin' far from the family i knew so many years ago..making me feel as tho my family was never good enough for him....and accepting the fact that i could never go back there no matter how much i missed them...we see where he ended up....in misery and with deception living in his house...now...with life starting down a different path for me with someone who holds onto his own family so strongly and closely...i read your blogs and the tears just roll down my face uncontrollably..while i listen to his brothers and sisters banter and laugh hysterically almost every hour of the day in some form or fashion...i realize we...me you and katie... are exactly like that as well...just with distance seperating the punches on the arm i might get from katie or the slap i might give you on the shoulder...or the hugs we would give each other because we are laughing so hard the tears come just as hard and as heavy as mine do now...emily has this thing she does when she sees a volkswagon beetle or bug..she punches me on the shoulder....regardless of my actions at the time, driving...in converstation...whatever...she punches me...and over the years her punches have grown almost painful...and then she says "punch buggy no punch back..."it has almost become a contest between us...who sees them first who punches who first..and shes fast...those young eyes see them quickly and she reacts even quicker...and so while tootling around with curtis and i yesterday...she tagged me so hard I screamed out loud and then became hysterical cuz curtis was driving and literally it scared the crap outta him and then emily started cracking up and he became hysterical in response to me and emily and our banter and inside jokes...and it was then..that i realize these are the exacts moments i have missed with my sisters...the hysterical pee your pants snorting laughter...priceless to be able to experience...but i will take living and experiencing it through your blogs every day of the week then to not have it at all....i miss the both of you guys so much....
Post a Comment