a broken heart

This little guy is breaking my heart. He and his family need some serious prayer.

I had a few quippy things to blog about, but in light of this - no quippy blogging tonight.

I just started a study on Esther. Only a few days in, so I can't wax eloquent. But the bible study teacher says this: We know God is a miracle worker. He parted the red sea. But what happens when He doesn't do it? When the red sea doesn't part?

What happens when a precious baby boy has a body that is slowly killing him?
Or when cancer comes back?
When your spouse leaves?
When a woman watches her village killed, is gang raped, contracts HIV/AIDS and is pregnant from one of the rapes?
When soldiers kidnap children at night from their village - beat them and force them to kill their families?
When you lose your 3 year old to cancers after a 2-year battle?
When the unthinkable in your life happens...then what?

Who is God then? Will your packaged answers suffice? Or will you distance yourself from the reality of life.

In this lifetime, faith is tough to come by. It's even tougher when we think we have the answers.

Truth is, answers are something we don't have. And sometimes, God simply doesn't part the red sea. The miracle isn't what we expected. It's not beautiful. It's raw. And it hurts like hell.

The one thing I do know is- this life isn't all there is. While God may not part a red sea in my life, He is working out the miracle of the ordinary. Creating the extraordinary as the vice of pain grips us.

I don't what God is going to do for little Gavin. With all of my might, I am lifting that blonde baby up to the Lord and asking for a miracle. That He would heal Gavin's body. Lord, guide the hands of the surgeons. Give the operation complete success. I know He hears that. He loves Gavin beyond measure. He's there through the gut-wrenching days.

And if he doesn't part the red sea for this little boy, I know God will rejoice and cradle this sweet baby boy. I'm still praying boldly. Believing.

And doing my level best to believe there is always crazy, unabashed hope available. Even when the miracle happens on the other side.

Lord, help us understand. And have faith that makes sense according to your Word. Not according to what we think. We love you unashamedly. And faithfully. Amen.