just for today...

Lent began last Wednesday. Ash Wednesday, to be exact.

Lent isn't something I typically pay a lot of attention to. Reminders of daily mass and Catholic traditions start swirling. Not that Catholicism is horrible. It's what I grew up with and it didn't do a lot for me or my understanding of who God is. I definitely believed in God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit. The rest was a sea of motion, wafers, rosary beads and confessionals. No heart in it at all.

When one of my co-workers brought Lent to the table, my initial reaction was, "Lent. Yeah, yeah. Backdoor Catholocism."

What was shared was actually awesome. And gave me pause. What would I do with the 40 days leading up to Easter? Do I really believe in the importance of this time? Or do I believe more in staying comfortable with "business as usual."

I'm wrestling SO hugely with a few things in my life right now. One has been "a companion" since childhood and the other is an area that needs healing and forgiveness. In honor of Lent and what Christ did for me on the cross, I'm going to offer those things up. One "lent day" at a time.

I'm ashamed to admit that I offered the healing and forgiveness part up right away. I've commited to pray for some folks that wreaked a little havoc on my life. Today, they've all moved on and I'm the only one in the prison cell. Crazy thing is, I have the key to get out. Forgiveness. The other area - the "longtime companion" area - I've held on to for about five days. Even if something is bad for us - or is causing damage in our lives, it's still tough to let it go. And truthfully, I can't. I've tried more than a thousand times, I'm certain.

To quote an old "AA" phrase (and no, i'm not an alcoholic), "just for today" I will not follow my heart. The heart is deceitfully wicked (Jer 17:9). I will not do what feels good or what is easy or instant. I choose to put off immediate gratification that ultimately leads to selfishness and destruction. Just for today, I will not yield to the spirit of self-indulgence. Instead, I am committing to what is right. In honor of the Lord - and only with the Lord.

Dear Jesus, I remember what you did on the cross. And for today, I choose You. I choose You.

Kris