the human eye...

...is a terrible thing to waste.

After a week of inexplicable illness, my sinus infection decide to explode through my eye on Saturday morning. Otherwise known as: conjunctivitis. Pink eye. A little bit of hell on earth.

Until yesterday, I had never experienced pink eye. Today, I can say that I hope it never graces my cornea again. It was miserable. Yesterday, I had an uncontrollable ooze that started around 10 am and didn't end. Even while I slept.

This morning, Hope ran in to do an 'eye check." She contracted our "pink friend" while I was in Chicago. I awakened to "Mom, how's your eye?" As I peered out from the covers, it was quickly recognized that only one of my eyes was working. The other, was firmly "glued" shut.

After about 20 minutes of compressing and warm water and truthfully, a small moment of anxiety---I emerged from the bathroom. My husband, a fella of few words said, "Wow. You're wounded." I dodged to the bathroom and in the light of day could see how wounded I really was. The "puffy circles" that grace my face in the morning were there. But the one under my infected eye extended down to my chin. Seriously. I looked like Rocky Balboa's really bad cariciature. Really, really bad. As I emerged from the bathroom, we wondered aloud what I should do. Doctor, again? Was the state of my eye indicating that healing was on the way? Did I really have pink eye - or was my eye just rotting away?

Lee and Hope ventured out for new Christmas lights to leave me pondering and wondering. Interestingly enough, a few more hours of resting my eyes and the outpouring of eye liquid seemed to cease. By noon, my balboa-esque likeness has faded. I actually ventured out to Target toward early evening - amazed at and expounding on the wonders of modern medicine.

What a week. Through it all, I've ended with a few fun tips to share:

1. If you contract conjunctivitis (ie pink eye) you will not be able to catch up on that reading you've been longing for or the cross stitch you've been hoping to nestle down with. End of story.

2. Lifetime TV. I know why the network is called "Lifetime." The shows you watch on this station will stay with you about that long. Somebody is being stalked, being raped or being beaten. Or dying from cancer or cheating on their spouse. More than one hour of viewing will lower your IQ. Guaranteed.

3. The Food Network. Always worth watching. There's something for everyone. I was inspired by the Thanksgiving specials. I indulged in a few episodes of "Ace of Cakes." I also decided I liked Rachel Ray even less than I did prior to my illness. Bleh. Like fingernails on chalkboard. But I do enjoy her recipes. Minus her commentary. Paula Dean = not my favorite. Her grammar distracts me ('my family can't hardly wait for me to lay this on the table"). Sorry, Paula. But I did make note of her stuffing recipe. I've discovered two more cooking faves that I think I'll have to add to the tivo lineup. I don't know their names yet--but one made a tasty apple tart and the other a lovely green bean dish. Emeril will never be a show I can watch (I rank him with ol' Rachel R.). Bobby Flay and my Barefoot Contessa = always full of promise.

4. Martha Stewart. Her blog inspires. And her mama just died. ;( Sad day but neat legacy (minus the trading infraction and jail time).

5. Spanglish. I started to watch this movie - then fell asleep. Must every movie have an adulterous affair to succeed?

6. Finally, with the multitudes of entertainment shows, why doesn't the New York Times have a 30 minute spot? I know, I know - great minds don't watch tv. Pink eye knows no bounds. Intelligent television. For all you PBS-ers, Great Chefs was on all weekend.

Okay, so maybe not great advice. I don't normally view so much television. But there wasn't much else to do. I was very sick. My eye was balboa-ized. And I couldn't keep my peepers perched on a book for long. Tonight, I will be focusing my newly healed eyes on some words on paper and turning of the big color box in our living room. And continue my quest for total disinfection.

I can't wait for thanksgiving. We're going to my sister in law's for the fabulous day. Lee, Hope and I head out on "black Friday" at 4:30 am to hit some of the very best deals. Our tree will go up and Christmas will explode into our home. :) Lee is halfway through with operation outside light installation.

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas. And I, for one, am so glad to have both eyes firmly planted on the prize.

kb

ps: that's "b" for my last name. NOT balboa.