Our family did the Torchlight 5K (Seafair in Seattle) on Saturday (7/26). It was a very low-key, fun and fairly festive occasion. Hope rocked it out (minus a few rough moments along the route). She and Lee finished with a big sprint...we were so proud of her!

Each race we do is a reminder to me of my health my weight and where I'd like to be - and how I'm going to get there. One step at a time, I suppose. Of late, a few long-niggling health issues are being dealt with. I'm sleeping much better and have a doctor appointment mid-August to take a hold of "the last" factor. Or one of the last. I'm hoping getting some things under control coupled with exercise is going to help me out.

We're leaving for Arizona in a few short days. Or a few long days. :) It will be so nice to get away. For so many reasons.

What a rambling post, eh? :) Not much to say - and so many words to say it in!

This past four days have felt like 10 weeks. Seriously. The best part of my week, happened today as I walked out my workplace doors. I had miraculously snagged a front row parking spot. Remembering that fact and very quickly reaching my car (vs the normal lag when I'm in the north 40) was a beautiful thing. I almost had a jig in my step. Almost.

Actually, I think the best part of my week just happened five minutes ago. Hope has a friend spending the night. They are parked in the bonus room with Ladybug (our cat), perched victoriously between them. Hope heard me peek in. I asked if she wanted me to move the cat, she said, "No, she wants to be part of the slumber party too." Crazy cat. And one tolerant girl. :)

Not much to say. No witty banter. I've been very thankful for our weather. Even the overcast days have been a nice break between "heat waves." There is much going on in my little life -- and much processing to be done. It's not a bad place to be - just a lot of work.

I am reading some fantabulous books. Lady of the Snakes. Searching for God Knows What. The Kite Runner. And a study on Ephesians.

So like I said.....my front row parking spot was a beautiful thing. And the highlight of my week. Next to Ladybug. Parking spot trumps cat. Every time. :)

Here's to Friday! :)

It's the Girl Scout Pledge....

:) Hope went to her first day of Girl Scout camp today. If you know my child at all (and many of you don't), we didn't go without much angst. And a small trickle of a tear. It's day camp. Hope is shy. And many of her troop were in the same unit she was. God blessed us with a co-leader whose daughter is shy and worry-laden as well. And a day of sunshine and good fun.

I prayed for her throughout the day. Waited for my cell phone to ring. And drove to pick up one happy, chatty Girl Scout pledgin' girl. She even has a speaking part in the finale' skit on Friday.

I wondered for a brief moment if I'd grabbed the wrong girl. I think Girl Scouts is good for her confidence. Or at least that's what we've been observing.

Tonight is VBS at church. Not the best laid plan...especially since I'm one of the snack ladies, but hopefully, it will be fun, go quickly and we'll fall into bed tonight like two tired heaps.

And find the stamina to do it 4 more days this week.

Hasta!

Pain Tolerance

by Carla Barnhill

Why we shouldn’t rush our friends through difficulties

I like to fix things. Or, rather, I like to fix people. Someone comes to me with a problem, and I want to make it better—now. But lately, I’ve watched several friends live through terrible situations: crumbling marriages, failing careers, dying children, withering spirits. And I can’t do a thing to make them better.

I grew up in a Swedish family that didn’t do well with emotion, particularly “negative” emotions such as sadness, anger, frustration, grief. The Scandinavian way is to push through and do whatever’s necessary regardless of feelings. Added to that mindset is my generation’s belief that talking about a problem long enough will make it better. As if those propensities weren’t enough, I always want to be the friend who gives the best advice, who comes through and saves the day. So because of my Swedish instinct to run from pain, my Gen X desire to discuss a problem’s every nuance, and my chronic need to help, I tend to rush people through life’s hard parts. As I listen to these friends whose spouses are leaving or whose parents are sick or whose jobs are gone, I have to work hard to keep my mouth shut and my ears open.

My heritage, age, and personality aren’t the only factors that make patience with pain a struggle for me. My faith—at least, the Christian culture surrounding my faith—has done little to help me develop pain tolerance. And I’m not the only one. Anyone who’s gone through a difficult situation knows the least helpful words often come from Christians. When my friend suffered a miserable breakup and then saw a promising job offer fall through, the last thing she needed to hear was all this ickiness befell her because “God has something better in store.” Yet a well-meaning mutual friend told her exactly that. And it did the opposite of help.

Certainly, I believe God does have something better for my brokenhearted friend. And she believes that as well. But too often, we Christians use such phrases not to shore up someone’s hope, but to hurry that person out of her pain. We want to say something—anything—to stop her hurt.

When I try to fix my friends’ problems, I’m usually doing so because of my discomfort with their feelings. I actually handle my own pain better than others’ pain. Maybe because I want people to think of me as the friend who helped them the most. Maybe because I’m afraid I won’t have the emotional energy to be supportive for more than a few days. Or maybe because I like my friends to be happy so they can keep me happy. Whatever the selfish reason behind my efforts to make everything better, they’re about me, not my friends.

But when Jesus talked to people in pain, he didn’t push them through it. He walked with them as long as needed (John 4:1–26). He asked them questions (John 8:1–11). He shared their sorrow (John 11:1–36). In 2 Corinthians 1:3, Paul writes, “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort.” God isn’t “the Father of constant happiness and joy.” Paul assumes life includes suffering and pain. Joy comes from having a God who cares for us and stays with us no matter what. I want to be that kind of friend. Not a friend who pushes or has all the answers, but a friend who listens and sits and comforts. I want to be a friend like Jesus.

blog much?

Not really. And not in a very long time. The blogosphere has been calling to me, but I just haven't been in the mood to write. Not really sure I am now, so we'll see what happens. I have a feeling it will be long. And random. So hang on...

A friend of mine (P) lost her husband a little over one month ago. He took his own life. She's also a co-worker and rejoined our team today after a month of what I believe is the most unimaginable time. In the midst of tears and pain, she had us laughing during our devotional call. Or maybe we had one another laughing. She shared the most hysterical story that may lose something in the translation, but I'm going to give it a shot....

After seven days of themed Texan fellowship preceding the memorial and for many days after, P went for a walk down her street. She met up with one of her elderly neighbors and in her best southern drawl, relayed the following.

N: P, what the he-yell kind of party do you have goin' on at your house? There are cars and cars and more cars. What kind of fun are you havin' down there?

P: Oh, my husband died, Sally (not really her name). My friends have all gathered and are staying with me.

(neighbor grabs her hand, looks intently into her eyes and says...)

N: Oh darlin', I need to tell you somethin'. As bad as it is now, it's only going to get worse. So much worse.

She came over later with a basket and a book entitled, "Widow to Widow." We all decided that the term "widow" wasn't one that we were embracing. At least for today. P is still trying to get her head around the term "suicide" and the fact that in some unfathomable fashion, God allowed this to enter her life. And to end her husband's.

We laughed and we cried. What else can you do? In the midst of of the pain and craziness and making her way back to a God she doesn't feel very sure of or safe with right now, she and her girls are making note of the unbelievable things people are saying to them. And finding laughter.

As we listened and drank in the words of our sister and co-worker, a book came to mind. One I had read when Lee's Mom died. "Where is God When it Hurts?" by Philip Yancey. He writes about the problem of pain - how to meet people where they are at in suffering -- and addresses the unbelievable things folks feel compelled to say in the face of tragedy. I offered up the memory, to which Peggy said. "You'll never believe this, we were with Philip Yancey during the new year. He sent a card to us after the memorial. Let me find it." She read it. And his words were beautiful. Just right. No answers. No attempt at a quick fix or directive. Just sharing the pain through eloquent and thoughtful words. I was grateful that he was able to retain his standing as one of my favorite Christian authors.

I'm still trying to imagine receiving a card from Philip Yancey. I'm excited when James and Shirley Dobson include me in their mass Christmas card mailing. ha!

My heart has been heavy for so many things of late. Amazingly, God still shows up. He doesn't seem to be in the business of delivering me from difficult paths, but He's still there. Asking me to rely on him and no one else. He brings peace. Helps his kids to just hang in there with Him. Helping me believe that even through the worst (albeit relative) pain, there is still a purpose. One that He is working out - maybe for heaven's sake alone, but still...working.

Through my own winding and difficult path, the summer has taken some twists and turns - and still is truthfully. What I do know is...last week, the Lord blessed me with the opportunity to join three fabulous ladies for a live (well, live taping) of NPR's gameshow, "Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me" at the Paramount. It's a quiz show on current events/news. The weather was spectacular. The conversation just right. We found the opportunity to celebrate the denial of our dear friend's relocation - something that didn't seem possible to celebrate just a few weeks prior. But I think we did it. I know we are all (selfishily?) so glad she'll be in close locale.

I haven't laughed and smiled so much in a very long time. I won't waste space trying to recreate the humor...just know, it was rich. I highly recommend subscribing to their podcast. Funny stuff. Note: I am a news junkie, so if that's not your thing, scratch my recommendation. The evening was a wonderful break - a breather, even. God was in it. This much I know.

The telecommuting aspect of my job has been an enormous blessing for so many reasons. So thankful for it. Especially right now. My Dad/stepMom visited a few weekends ago. We ate too much, went to Meeker Days, watched Indiana Jones 4 (so not my thing, but enjoyed it!) and were sad to see them go. Hope and I were trying to go home with them for a week...but t'wasn't possible. I did spend many hours on the phone with my littlest sister Katie and have been moved, changed and so thankful for our deep discussions...and the not so deep ones. :) "Now that we've found love, what are gonna do..." Co-dependent no more. Co-dependent no more.

Ah....and finally, my very strong and determined neighbors participated in the Seafair Half Marathon this past Sunday. In the heat of the day (91 degrees!), I am told that the hills of Seafair made our Tacoma experience seem flat. So proud of them. Inspired to begin the search for the next half marathon for myself (and peeps)....and glad I didn't try to participate myself. I don't think I could have made it in the heat. But I have soaked in every story.

So there is the past month, in a nutshell. :) "Library Mondays' are back in full-swing. I highly recommend "Divine" by Karen Kingsbury. Christian fiction - but a book I poured through in 4 hours. One very late night. A modern day Mary Magdalene. Very, very good. I have my summer reading list ready to go...maybe I'll share that in another blog.

"Though he slay me, yet will I hope in Him." Job 13:15 a.

Be blessed! k