this thing called weather...

...has not been my friend this year. Buckets of snow. Then torrents of rain. Flooding. Road closures. Craziness.

The snow stopped about a week and a half ago. Turned to rain. Never thought I would be so thankful for the wet stuff. Until it started flooding the creek down the hill. And the river on the backside of our development. Our home was in no danger of flooding - but the roads around us? Closed. The South Prairie Creek crested its banks and took out some houses and started flowing down the Buckley/Orting Highway. I've never seen such a thing.

On the way to church this morning, Hope and I noted that the "bus shed" (down the hill) was now on the opposite (and diagonal) side of the road. Wild stuff.

"Team Buckley" headed out for a 7.5 miler yesterday. We only made it 2 miles one way. The trail was washed out (and covered with feet of water). So our 7.5 miles because 4. Followed by our SBX coffee chat. :)

My baby turns nine in just one week. I can scarcely believe it. We're celebrating with a small gathering of girls for a Hannah Montana Build-a-Bear party. And by small, I mean "the least amount of girls we are allowed to bring" (six, for the record), and by Hannah Montana I mean the bear IS a Hannah Montana bear.

My dear friend and neighbor used to have her own cake biz with her mama and has graciously offered to help me create a Hannah Montana cake. It's a purple guitar. She seems confident that we can do this. And that I won't just be watching her craft while I watch with gaping jaw. :) She's given me a list of things to gather - fondant, silver cake dust...the list goes on. I'm hoping Michael's will be my one-stop shopping friend. I'm ever-so-grateful for Ginger's willingness to help and am hoping the cake ends up looking more like she crafted it and less like I did. Meaning, THAT IT WILL ROCK. :)

A post-Christmas birthday is not all it's cracked up to be...but I think it will be fabulous.

:)

oh bob, you slay me...

Oh Bob Harper, don't act like you didn't just kick my butt this morning. Ah well, I still think you're the cutest thing ever.

Anyone watch The Biggest Loser? Is trainer Bob Harper not the most adorable drill sergeant ever? I love Jillian too. I love Bob more. :)

Today is DAY 4 of the Prism program. Not a bad day.

I began the day with Bob a'la comcast on-demand. Just 23 minutes of core cardio. Oofta. That hurts. When I got up from the chair at Hope's cheer class, I was a little stiff. Especially the quads. To quote Bob, "Quad workouts are my FAVORITE." Massachist.

Tonight, after reading two chapters of Hope's latest true animal adventures, I realized I had been lying for too long. I couldn't get up. I rolled to the floor.

It wasn't pretty. But it's a good kind of ugly. That's fosho.

I made a dinner that Lee and Hope LOVED. I was shocked. I steamed chicken breasts and shredded them. Chopped up 10 whole-wheat tortillas. Jumbled them into a large pan with some chiles. Added red enchilada sauce. Simmered. Sprinkled with cheddar cheese. It was yummy. Served with salad - prism-friendly. If I could learn to make the enchilada sauce from scratch, even more healthy. Baby steps. Baby steps. :)

And finally, to end this random blog, I'd like to post my favorite things from today.

1. Israel & New Breed: Deeper. I downloaded this album to my iPod. It is in a word: amazing. Amazing worship. Love it.

2. No snow. No more needed here. :)

3. Routines. It's good to be back in one. Although, I sure enjoyed my time off. And a few jammie days.

4. Nancy. She is prism-ing with me. Blessed my socks off today.

5. Nine years. My little one is heading for that birthday in 12 days. We're celebrating with a Hannah Montana Build-a-Bear birthday. Not very many girls coming b/c it's a true expense. She's been wanting a birthday there for years. It's nice to be able to say "yes." And give her a sweet memory.

That's it from here. :) Praising Jesus today that I have a roof over my noggin. Two legs to carry me. And a body with weight to lose. :) Amen.

What's colder than freezing?

It is crazy frigid outside. Unbelievable cold.

And if you know me, then you'll recognize what a statement this is. I'm almost never cold.

Part of the reason the cold is so personal to me today? We went for a walk. Our original 7.5 mile trek on the trail was nixed due to snow and ice. The trail is covered. And unplowed. Go figure.

Our neighborhood is not without ice and snow - but it has melted a bit. So off we went. Hope and I had made it about 3/4 of a mile when she talked me into a sidewalk trail so she could walk through the snow. I obliged. And quickly found myself on my derriere. With a little road rash on my shin. It didn't start hurting until I started thawing out (a good hour-plus later).

Dropped Hope off at the mile marker and went another 2 miles on my lonesome. Listened to a very encouraging and timely message on my iPod from Puyallup Foursquare.

http://media.p4square.com/pfc/video/low/20081011.mp4

Takes a bit for the video to cue. Matters of the heart. Those times (like now) whether I'm not sure the Lord is listening, a little nugget like this comes my way and encourages me. And makes me pause and examine motive.

I'm on "day 3" of the prism-quest. I'd be lying if I told you it was easy. Or that I haven't fallen a bit. But "fallen" looks like a handful of peanuts or cheating with a few chips vs. eating an entire carton of Ben and Jerry's or baking shortbread at 2 am so I can eat it all.

What I'm seeing very clearly is what a presence food is in my life. It's not just something that helps me survive. Food is a past time for me. A hobby. And without it, I'm a little lost. I abuse the very thing that God gives us to survive. Crazy. Now the trick is replacing that "lost love" with something else. The Lord. A new habit. :) Something.

My sister suggested cross stitching...so I've been doing more of that lately. Our house is also very, very clean. And while I'm not hungry, I would love to bury myself in a bowl of something warm and buttery. But I won't.

Dear Jesus, be with me. :)

day 2...

no sugar. no white flour. no processed foods.

it's been a dark day, charlie brown.

seriously. i've done alright. i will say that food has become a past time for me. a lover, if you will. and i'd be lying if i said i didn't miss it. oh. but i do. but i know that i've got to overcome the addicion of it. and that is what stinks.

the program i'm doing is focused on two things: healthy eating and breaking emotional ties to foods. No chips. No crackers. No potatoes for the first 6 weeks.

A friend of mine who is doing the program as well said she had some fritos last night. Because they are made with corn and semi-prism friendly. (sidenote: are fritos fried? if so, that makes them not prism friendly at all). She had one serving. It's a violation of the Phase 1 rules - but I thought about it. Should I bend the rules too? If something is on the list, but it's still made with good stuff, should I do it?

For me, eating a serving of fritos, or having just one cookie is like letting an alcoholic have "one sip of beer." It's ridiculous.

So I said no to the frito. Of which an entire bag resides in our cupboard. And you're right. I don't have the most supportive familia in the world when it comes to diet. It's my world that needs to change, not theirs.

I've had some revelations today. Regarding eating and jonesing and my headspace. Nothing for the blogwaves...but I am seeing some things. I just don't know how to heal and overcome.

Crazy. I know it will get easier. But for now, I'll be glad when my head is on the pillow and I am asleep. :) Day 2 will be under my belt.

:)

the test of the jo-jo

that's right. the test of the jo-jo.

ate a late breakfast. balanced, carb-friendly and calorie-exact. went grocery shopping right around lunch time. it's a family affair - so a friend of hope's came with. and as habit would have, lee bought a thousand pounds of jo-jo potatoes. battered, deep-friend goodness. not normally a temptation for me - but i quickly found how truly hungry i was.

i resisted the tempting of the jo-jo. actually, i ate one small one. after the troops had ravaged them all. just one.

lee decided he wanted an ice cream cone on the way out. hope stood strong with me (thank you for my girl!) - while lee and lyssie waited in line. i'm not an ice cream lover anyhow - but i was darn hungry.

note to self: don't go grocery shopping without a lunch plan in place. by the time we arrived back home, it was well after 2 pm. i calorically (sp?) balanced some nibbles and digested a little sustenance.

currently drinking herbal tea. wishing i wasn't married to the will power or gibraltar. steak and veggies on the menu for tonight.

this may end up being a three-blog day. oh Lord of the diets, deliver me.

:)

the resolution that never ends...

It's probably the #1 resolution on most folks' lists. Weight loss. I think this has been my goal since I was...7? Maybe 8? Not pretty.

Last year I accomplished a personal best: I finished a half-marathon. I will say, it nearly killed me.

Not really "killed" - but the last few miles were brutal. Pieces of my soul were left on the hills (and by hills, I mean mountains) of Tacoma.

Not sure what happened to me after that. Well, I do know. And it's not meant for the blog waves. I had a personal issue (and by issue, I mean catastrophe) that came screaming to a head.

It's tough to exercise and keep one's life afloat.

Personal issue/catastrophe is still there - but not screaming right now. So what comes to mind next? Losing weight. And by weight, I mean the equivalent of a teenager.

I have two health issues that are just peeking their ugly heads to the surface. I've got to deal with them before they deal with me. Or kill me.

Surgery was also part of 2008's fun. An injury that *could* happen to anyone. If they were 60. or 80. Surgery followed along with six weeks of recovery.

A girl has a lot of time to ponder and think in six weeks. And hit bottom. And eat. And read. And eat some more.

If losing weight was as easy as just hopping on a diet, why, I'd be walking a runway somewhere (model, not airplane). In my life, that's not the case. I'm an addict. And at this point in my life, the addiction is food. Early on in life, it was alcohol. And at different points in my life, other things have been abused as well.

When I started training for the Chicago Marathon, I chronicled the journey in a blog - and am going to do it again here.

We are registering for the Rock-n-Roll Marathon (half). June 27th is the date. I would like to be in a place to jog a little of it - or to walk faster than I did for the Tacoma Half.

I've joined Overeater's Anonymous (OA)- although I don't have all of my ducks in a row with their materials. Am working on it.

Danielle and I are doing Prism together. It's the thing that worked for me five years ago - it's just hard to live that way. Part of OA is deciding what abstinence looks like. For me, abstinence has to come in the form of no white sugar, white flour or processed foods. That's my truest addiction. In alcoholic volumes. Prism is just that - removing those things from one's life. And relying on the Lord to heal and grow and sustain.

Today is Prism: Day 1. I've been working up to it this week. Not perfectly, but it's been a few days since I've had any sugar.

Reading some introspective books (When Food is Love) and trying to dig deeply into the root of my issue. I know what it is. But knowing and being free are very different things.

So that's my update for the 2nd day of 2009. :) I'm taking it one day at a time. Living in this very moment. Knowing that being thin doesn't heal all things. But hopefully the process to losing weight and being free from an addiction will heal my heart.

Happy 2009! :)

Happy New Year!!!

I may come up with a verbose new year post later this week, but for now, here it is.

1. What did you do in 2008 that you’d never done before?
I completed my first half-marathon (Tacoma City Marathon). I also had repair surgery that I don't care to detail - nor do I hope has to be repaired again. :)

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I completed the half marathon. That was the goal. And another "unspoken" goal that isn't meant for blogwaves, was met. My resolutions for this year:

-Drop 50 pounds
-Complete RNR 1/2 marathon in June. Possible jog some of it.
-Instilling a little more daily orgnization into my life.
-Finishing the cross stitch Christmas stocking that I've been working on longer than I care to share. :)

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Yes! My friend Jeanette and Mike have a new bundle of joy...Shayne Louise. :)

4. Did anyone close to you die?
A friend/co-worker's husband took his life. He wasn't close to me - but she is.

5. What countries did you visit?
Mazatlan, Mexico. :)

6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?
Less of me. More of God.

7. What dates from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
The half-marathon, for sure. July 11: the resurrection of the unspoken. :) The death of a friendship. The resurrection and healing of some old ones. Oh, and the massive snow storm of December. (ugh).

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
I don't know why, but this half-marathon comes up ove and over. And the unspoken would be here too.

9. What was your biggest failure?
Losing weight. Or not losing it, I should say.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Yes and yes. Injury early October. Surgery mid-November.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
Our acura MDX. It's a joy to use as a family. Seriously.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
My crockpot. A new best friend and truly reliable and life-changing. yes.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Christians in general. A former employer. Nuff said.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Home improvement. Health care.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
The half-marathon. Seeing Celine Dion with Shelly. Being in Mexico, once we had been there a few days. Our trip to AZ in August. Hope's Santa Parade experience. Seeing my sister (Katie) in September (in Portland). Oh! And going to see Journey with Lee (and Ginger/Shane).

16. What song will always remind you of 2008?
Gosh, I don't know. Probably Celine's "Taking Chances"

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

a) happier or sadder? happier, I think

b) thinner or fatter? the same. maybe plus 10. I just recovered from surgery tho.

c) richer or poorer? the same.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Exercise post-Tacoma marathon.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of? eating.

20. How did you spend Christmas?
Hope and I went to service on Christmas Eve at Puyallup Foursquare. T'was fabulous. Lee's family came to our digs on Christmas Day. It was really a fun and lovely time. Aided by our new Wii. I'm not sure why - but it was a very good celebration of Jesus! :)

21. Did you fall in love in 2008? No.

22. What was your favorite TV program? I have a few, but I'll have to say House, hands-down. I love that guy. And I do love me some Housewives of Atlanta. NeNe forever. :)

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
I don't hate anyone. But a few peeps have removed themselves from my life, and that is something to process - fosho.

24. What was the best book you read?
I read quite a few books and nothing is really standing out. Wait, "Here if You Need Me" by Kate Braestrup (thank you, Shelly!). It was phenomenal. Gorgeous writing. Thoughtful take on grief. The book I read that was a big disappointment was...The Shack.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Israel Houghton and New Breed. I knew of him before, but after he led worship for us at WV's DOP, I'm a fan!

26. What did you want and get?
The saving of something "unspoken." And a little healing of my past.

27. What did you want and not get?
lose weight. (yadda yadda)

28. What was your favorite film of this year?
I'll start off with something impressive: During one of my recovery weekends (from surgery), I watched all three Lord of the Rings. Loved, loved, loved them. Something less impressive that I also loved: Sex and the City. I'm saying it loud and saying it proud. Please deal. :)

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 40 this year. And was in the midst of a personal "unspoken" time. But my friends and neighbors came over and gave me a lovely hoorah! :) Co-workers too. :)

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
I can't say it here. :) But the other would be...if Obama wouldn't have been elected in. I know, I know. Just don't think he's the real-deal.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?
Besides work out gear? Wear what fits. Hoping to change that one.

32. What kept you sane?
I would like to say the Lord - and I know he was there. But mostly, it was my sister Katie. My memory and humor creator. I love you, scoot. And a few well placed counselors. Amen and amen. You know who you are. :)

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
I really enjoy Kristin Armstrong. Her blog. Her writing. (ex-wife of Lance and marathoner). I guess the other would be John McCain. I was disappointed that he crumbled to the masses during his campaign (selection of Sarah Palin, imo). His kind of patrioticism is going to the wayside, I do believe.

34. What political issue stirred you the most?
Not so much the election (although it was there). The blind acceptance by conservative evanglicals of Sarah Palin - simply b/c she wore the title Christian. And abortion. Interesting to see so many "conservative evangelicals" voting democratic and not having Obama's stance on abortion matter much in the scheme of their vote. Pastor Roger laid it out best, I think: "it's not a judgment. it just is. life begins before conception. we believe this as Christians." For the record, I was not a big fan of Sarah, but I did vote for McCain. And I am pro-life.

Separately, the child soldier bill passing. Crumbling of Zimbabwe and mass exodus of NGO's (via government direct).

35. Who did you miss?
Lee's Mom. Always.

36. Who was the best new person you met?
Myself. :) True story. And she's not new, but reconnecting with Nancy. :) Oh, and I could lump Jeanie Skeith in here. True and strong women of the Lord. :)

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008.
Guard your heart, for it is the well-spring of life. Not everyone is meant to walk closely as a friend. Sometimes, that includes family. Holding things loosely. Guarding my words and what I share more closely. And getting to know the Lord in a new way. He doesn't look like he used to. But He's still a good guy.

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
My heart will go on.... (celine)

Happy New Year!!!!