the resolution that never ends...

It's probably the #1 resolution on most folks' lists. Weight loss. I think this has been my goal since I was...7? Maybe 8? Not pretty.

Last year I accomplished a personal best: I finished a half-marathon. I will say, it nearly killed me.

Not really "killed" - but the last few miles were brutal. Pieces of my soul were left on the hills (and by hills, I mean mountains) of Tacoma.

Not sure what happened to me after that. Well, I do know. And it's not meant for the blog waves. I had a personal issue (and by issue, I mean catastrophe) that came screaming to a head.

It's tough to exercise and keep one's life afloat.

Personal issue/catastrophe is still there - but not screaming right now. So what comes to mind next? Losing weight. And by weight, I mean the equivalent of a teenager.

I have two health issues that are just peeking their ugly heads to the surface. I've got to deal with them before they deal with me. Or kill me.

Surgery was also part of 2008's fun. An injury that *could* happen to anyone. If they were 60. or 80. Surgery followed along with six weeks of recovery.

A girl has a lot of time to ponder and think in six weeks. And hit bottom. And eat. And read. And eat some more.

If losing weight was as easy as just hopping on a diet, why, I'd be walking a runway somewhere (model, not airplane). In my life, that's not the case. I'm an addict. And at this point in my life, the addiction is food. Early on in life, it was alcohol. And at different points in my life, other things have been abused as well.

When I started training for the Chicago Marathon, I chronicled the journey in a blog - and am going to do it again here.

We are registering for the Rock-n-Roll Marathon (half). June 27th is the date. I would like to be in a place to jog a little of it - or to walk faster than I did for the Tacoma Half.

I've joined Overeater's Anonymous (OA)- although I don't have all of my ducks in a row with their materials. Am working on it.

Danielle and I are doing Prism together. It's the thing that worked for me five years ago - it's just hard to live that way. Part of OA is deciding what abstinence looks like. For me, abstinence has to come in the form of no white sugar, white flour or processed foods. That's my truest addiction. In alcoholic volumes. Prism is just that - removing those things from one's life. And relying on the Lord to heal and grow and sustain.

Today is Prism: Day 1. I've been working up to it this week. Not perfectly, but it's been a few days since I've had any sugar.

Reading some introspective books (When Food is Love) and trying to dig deeply into the root of my issue. I know what it is. But knowing and being free are very different things.

So that's my update for the 2nd day of 2009. :) I'm taking it one day at a time. Living in this very moment. Knowing that being thin doesn't heal all things. But hopefully the process to losing weight and being free from an addiction will heal my heart.

Happy 2009! :)