on the way to the new year..

It's begun. The focus on all things resolute and new year. :) I knew once family left and folks stopped dropping off tempation at my door (in the form of buttery baked goods), that I'd get back on my game. Plus, my sister has me watching "You Are What You Eat" on the BBC. Dr. Gillian is not kind - but full of truth. Eegads.

Training for the half-marathon begins in a few weeks--I'm hitting the treadmill and the road. I definitely feel the past few months of illness, lack of movement and overeating. Ick.

Our family is focused on eating healthier, I believe. Lee's Dad was here for 10 days. He's wrestling with a few maladies - some age-related and a few weight related. He'll be back in a few weeks for some more testing - and we'll see what's what. With diabetes running in my own family, I need to get serious.

Nothing much to report. Except to check out my new show....

http://www.youarewhatyoueat.tv/

:) k

Ginger Souffle...

came to me "free" with the purchase of another item (for someone else's gift). This is one of my new favorite things. It is delicious and wonderful - and calorie-free.

:)

Graham Cracker Cottages Unite!

I'm not sure anyone (except me) will appreciate the irony of the graham cracker cottage. I hosted a cookie party for some girls in Hope's class a few weeks ago. Many a pain-staking hour was spent following directions from Martha Stewart's website - slicing and architecturally dicing the confines of said cottage walls. Many crackers were sacrificed in the making of these 10 homes. It truly was not "easy" or "quickly made" as my Martha had promised.

Tonight, Hope attended a Christmas soiree at my neighbor, Ginger's digs. The girls exchanged gifts and did a little decorating...of graham cracker cottages. As I surveyed the cottage, the simplicity, the lack of architectural dicing and slicing and cracker loss, I wanted to howl out loud. And pop one of those little anxiety pills my Dr. has given me to bring sleep along as I finish out the steroids. I am fighting the urge to write Martha a letter and give her a piece of my mind for leading me astray. I tried to convey my disbelief that these cottages were constructed so simply...and with meringue mix, nonetheless - not my $15 tub of dehydrated eggwhites. Martha, what are you doing to this novice-crafty-wannabe? I blindly assume your advice is grand. And then, I discover, that there is an easier way.

It was actually a funny moment - inside my head, anyhow. BUT, kind of a lesson I'm learning. There's something about shortcuts that I need to learn. And calling my neighbor, Ginger - who knows the tricks and tips of baking, cakes and all things crafts. :) It was a fun party - Hope loved it ... good times.

We saw the National Treasure: Book of Secrets tonight. A little intense for Hope - but very good. I LOVED IT. I loved the first one as well.

My FIL is in town. We did some last-minute shopping - and I had to run to Fred Meyer for a few odds and ends. People are truly insane right now. The spirit of the season is missing for so many. I should be praying for them, I think. What a frenzy. Oye.

The best part of my day (besides seeing National Treasure 2!) - was the frenzy of deliveries we've received - namely from my sister, Karyn. She has been spoiling the living daylights out of our family this year! Sometimes, it's hard to accept the gift of another--and then when another arrives, and another... :) Today, a box of kisses arrived - candy cane, cocoa and one giant big brother kiss. I imbibed - and was just simply SO blessed. And so surprised. Silly, maybe - over "a box of chocolates (to quote Forrest G). I've gushed to her - and thanked Jesus for her and wished I could fly to VA just to give her a squeeze. So fun - and really, such a blessing. (love you, kar!). We texted goofy notes to one another until my movie began. Then the man behind me made me shut my cell phone. Scrooge.

I'm looking forward to some sleep tonight. It escaped me last night. Zzzzzzzzzzz. Or maybe, I'll pop a few more kisses...

Merry Christmas! :)

High School Musical Twins...

the girls on her heeleys...high school musical 2!

are you okay?

I heard that a few times today. I'm training a very delightful young woman to run with producing our web (at work). I think it was halfway between our editorial call, fielding some phone calls from advisory board members and keeping a ear out for web questions, that she asked me "Are you okay? You seem a little anxious today?"

Steroids. Bleh.

I was able to wax poetically about the steroids (that still affect me during the day, even though they're spread out), the cold I've contracted and the pounds of work that seem to be plaguing me. I'm hoping I can stretch 10 hours into 20 tomorrow. If the red sea could part for....me?

I'm happy to report that I have found sleep. In between my stuffy nose and new meds, it's definitely coming in spurts - but it's found me. And life seems a little more manageable.

I ordered some new makeup last week. It arrived yesterday. What is it about new makeup? Bronze cream eyeliner. Some new lipstick. A new woman. Puffy from steroids (um, and copious amounts of baked goods), but new, nonethless.

Hope spent the day with Lee. She has a new pair of Heeleys (the others were def too small). Good ol' GI Joe's and the $35 sale. She promises that she's at the top of her game now. I think there was lunch at some processed joint....a trip to Cold Stone...and some scouting at the park. Lee had two of Hope's friends with him today. He's quite the Dad of the block, I'm told.

For the record - shoes and lunch and cold stone, let alone a trip to the park, don't often happen when I'm home. What the?

It's 8 pm. I need to retire these bones to bed. And get them up at an hour that isn't fit for the birds, let alone this girl.

everything AND the kitchen sink...

I was recounting our appliance drama to a friend at work today (actually, more than one friend. Really, I was working...), and decided that I should probably give a view on the blog. Below is a short shot of the new "stuff" and a glimpse of the new tv-room carpet as well. Everything is nice and clean right now....I guess in the aftermath, it's a good thing (to quote my martha).

I should have gotten a better shot of the sink...it's truly my favorite thing. I'm not certain why. It's granite and just feels like it's in there with me - doin' it's thing, staying strong and holding water like a good sink should. Kidding. Kind of. Actually, I'm not kidding at all. It's the best thing since sliced bread. In a kitchen of stainless steel, something has to remain durable. Besides me! :)

Hasta~!

infamous kitchen

And these...are the new kitchen appliances. To which much angst can be attributed (at least the installation of). But now, I gotta admit, they rock. :)

sleep cometh..

Actually, sleep came. Words can't express. Overjoyed. Elated. Ready to leap over a tall building in a single bound. Holy guacamole. Life looks new this morning.

The one downside is...I have contracted Hope's cold. To quote my husband, "What else can you catch before the year is out?" I don't think we want to know. Rubella? Shingles. There's likely a list out there that would think I'm pretty cool.

I'm on so much "stuff" that I hope this cold will...em, continue to flow (and end quickly). Versus become the infection that is known as my sinuses.

Hope is out of school for two weeks. She was a little sad last night that I wouldn't be with her to commemorate her first day of freedom. One of my most treasured friends' is sending her daughter this way for the day. I hope the day will be a fun switch for Hope... :) She ended the night with Santa touring our development on a fire truck (indeed, we live in the sticks)...and a fun night with her "best friend" from school - Nevada.

I have 10 days of work to squeeze into 3. If you are praying peeps, I would so covet your prayers for focus, productivity and the multiplicity of my hours. My most treasured friend (mentioned above) will be in the office with me tomorrow to organize and structure my files. She could probably use prayers too...because those files are not for the faint of heart. :)

And just a reminder (mostly for me) of the season we are in..."For nothing is impossible with God." Luke 1:37.

Be blessed!

a better day?

This is one of my favorite pictures. Hope, my girl who tends to be sensitive to and fearful of much, hanging out on the roof with her Dad. Like she's not looming over cement two stories' high.

An interesting day. The doctor kept me on the same steroid dose, but spread it out through the day and had me take the last day before 3 pm. He's also prescribed a mild sedative...that I plan on taking promptly at 8 pm and have high hopes for. I only hope it meets my expectations. ;) If I don't sleep tonight (and haven't done harm to myself), they'll reduce the steroid dose.

The interesting thing is....something is actually "shaking loose" (for lack of a better term) - in my nostril region. I can't tell if it's the medicine finally working....or me catching the cold bug that Hope brought home last week.

Updates as I have them. Hoping for sleep....and will really settle for nothing less at this point.

:)

...horrible, no-good, very bad day...

That's a the title of a children's book..."Alexander's horrible, no good, very bad day." I think that's the slug. And it's actually how I'm feeling.

I have literally not slept more than a few hours since starting the roid treatment. The dosage dropped by half yesterday and I thought sleep would be forthcoming. Not so. I had the shakes (and sweats - ick) and was truly hallucinating throughout the night. Hallucinating might be strong. Night terrors? Tripping out? It was awful. And I think I'm done.

I finally got up at 3 am. If I could have lifted the skin from my body as a way to pass the time, I think I may have. I know it's the steroids - but I simply couldn't get a grip. Images of bad Lifetime for Women movies were flashing through my head. "I've seen this before. If I curl up in a ball and rock myself in a corner, will I find some relief?" I was up when Lee left for work. The poor guy wasn't quite sure what to do with me. I really was climbing the walls.

I cleaned out two drawers (somewhere, Lee was saying, "More steroids for Kris, please," - or maybe he's upped my dose?), finished laundry, and baked dozens of cookies (for Hope's school Christmas party this afternoon). Some reprieve came around 6 am....and as 7 am approaches, I'm feeling a little better. Very tired, maybe how The Hulk (remember the big green guy?) must have felt after he'd ripped trees from limb to limb and returned to that mild-mannered fella' he was when not enraged (I don't remember his name, sorry).

I left a message with my doctor. I was on the edge of the ledge when I called, so some men with white coats may be coming to grab me later today. I'm hoping he'll reduce the dosage - and possibly supply me with something so I might sleep. After doing a little bit o' research (what did we do before the internet?)...it seems that high agitation, sleeplessness, sweats and hallucinations are pretty common with steroids. Most of the references were from cancer websites....for anyone who has cancer right now and is taking these little hummers, I will be praying for you in a new way. A necessary evil in pill form?

I'm not taking them again until I hear from the Dr. Which will hopefully be this morning. I'm also a little hesitant not to, b/c I believe they are the only thing keeping me steps away from a sinus infection. Something's gotta give. Lee's Dad is coming in just a few short days....I need my functionality back. Eegads. Thanks for praying as you think of it.

:) k

a million little pieces...

Don't worry. I'm not recounting a partially-fabricated memoir (ie James Frey's moment of fame). Things just feel like they are truly crumbling into a million little pieces. Maybe my steroid-filtered view is affecting things as well. Eh, who am I kidding? The roids are rocking my entire being.

We recently replaced all of our appliances. We've enjoyed a mini-flood in our kitchen when the dishwasher hoses weren't connected "quite right." Can electrocution occur while ironing a shirt in a flooded kitchen? Anyhhow, we found ourselves without water and/or dishwasher in the midst of Hope's cookie party preparation - for dishes or the washing of other important items (um, like my hair).

The transition has been tough - but we've weathered it. And in the scheme of things, we're being blessed by new appliances. How much can I really complain (read on to find out)?

This weekend, we said goodbye to our very sad and well-used white porcelain sink. Dings, dents and scrapes - I'm sure it was ready to be put to rest. But not before leaving its mark - smack on the bottom of our new refrigerator. French-door refrigerator. No one can actually tell how the dinging happened....but since the blame isn't being laid squarely at my feet, I believe my other half knows he played some kind of part in the mess. It was a disappointing moment...and we will likely be replacing the freezer door. ;(

Fast-forward to the new granite sink. Two days later, we have water. And a small, but delicate leak. I'm told it will be fixed. Eh, what's one flooded kitchen week after week?

The grand finale' happened today. I attempted to wash our guest room comforter. In honor of my FIL's arrival this week. I've washed this particular item more than one time in our large-basin washing machine. Somehow, in the fray of kitchen sinks, dings on the new refrigerator and the frustration pervading our wrench-laden digs, the comforter became entangled. And stopped the turning of the drum. Loads of soapy water began to pour forth with abandon...as if it were called to that very moment.

I don't know why, but when Lee beckoned (um, really?) to me, I knew exactly what had gone down. Flooded laundry room. Did I mention the cat box is also kept in the laundry room? Good times, good times indeed.

The very best news is that we have the cleanest floors in all of Buckley. Shiny, clean and debris-free. Ladybug is enjoying her brand-new, lovingly laid cat litter (grrr). And I....hmm. Well, I'm actually so looking forward to being in the office tomorrow.

Speaking of a million little pieces, that's the state of my guest room right now. Better get back to it.

super steroid power

Or is that stupid steroid power? Either way, I'm not a fan. The good news is - the pressure in my sinuses seems to have decreased. The down side is...I'm simply not sleeping. At least, without some help (ie sedative) and not for more than 4 hours in one shot. I'm a lot tired and a great big moody. And my game face seems to be missing. Two more weeks...but hopefully the decreasing quantities will bring a little shuteye back on the scene.

The past week was a blur. Very little sleep, too many meds and Hope coming down with a cold mid-week threw me for a small loop. I was very thankful for the flexibility of my hours, working from home and gettin' things done during some odd hours.

This morning, we went on a mission for the Sheraton. Eight cases of a specific wine was needed for an event. Ten stops and three hours later, we arrived downtown with one cranky kid, a slightly cranky adult female (me) and a husband that was pretty glad to be anywhere but in the car with us. :) Hope and I ventured to the Sheraton lobby while Lee grabbed his crew to unload said delivery. We were able to view the infamous gingerbread houses. They are unbelievably amazing--maybe my favorite batch of all. I wish I had some pics to share. Words can't describe. Everything was so festive and beautiful.

Our day started to brighten up. :)

My sister in law, Karen and her husband came over this evening. We ventured out to one of my favorite shops (The Pinch Plum), ate too much cheese bread (not at said store), watched the boys install our new kitchen sink and played, I mean, lost two rounds of "SORRY!" to reigning champ, Hope. Both games were SOOOOO close. After Hope won the first round by literally 1 jump, she raised her hands over her head and said, "WOOHOO! I won and I didn't even cheat!". Note to self: watch opponent Hope's board moves from this point on. We howled. And proceeded to lose a second game to the shark. Yeesh. :)

I do believe it's time to get my sleepy SORRY winning child off to bed. She's dozing off to Air Bud as I type. And work on our very-late Christmas cards. In the swirl of having guests tonight (which was very nice) - I took my meds too late. Eh, no matter how early or late they enter my system, I seem to be "up" no matter what. Looks like I'll be a friend of Carson Daly (ie the late show) and possible the REAL Housewives of Orange County tonight. Hey, besides infomercials and late night talk, there really isn't much going on in the wee hours of the morning. It's the oddest thing - my body and head are so tired, but my energy level just doesn't stop. Tour de France, anyone?

Steroids have opened a whole new world. Hopefully, they open up my sinuses too.

:)

Holiday Concert - Part 4

Who needs to breathe?

Sickness has overwhelmed my sinuses and eyes for the past few months. It's not been a pretty October, November or December. Pink eye has made it's home in my eyes twice in the past month. Nuts, I say. Nuts!

Went in for a followup today post CT scan (on Friday). Ten years ago, I had sinus surgery on my left sinus. Today, the sinus is showing "no light" at all on the scan. That could mean a few things. I continue to get sick because an infection simply isn't clearing up. OR, I continue to get sick because the polyps have grown back and taken over my sinus cavity.

Bleh.

I have two choices. The first is a 20 day round of steroids - beginning with six pills per day -- descreasing in quantity/strength over the 20 days, coupled with an antibiotic (and diflucan). The second option is to refer over to an ENT surgeon - who will either suggest the same treatment or want to open me up (so to speak).

I took the first option. Twenty days on a steroid isn't going to be a lot of fun. Another CT scan is scheduled for January 31st with a follow up on 1/2 with my Dr. If the density hasn't changed, I'll be referred to the surgeon.

Sinus surgery is no cake walk. Last time I did it, we were without child. Recovery was long. Not sure how that would all work together. Sleeping upright in a recliner and spending the days on pain medicines isn't super-conducive to life with an active eight year old.

So for now, I'm praying for an infection. Not sure I've ever prayed for such a thing. Lord, please bless me with a nasty infection that can only be broken by steroids.

Eegads. :)

My new best friend...

is right here. I wasn't very welcoming of her (yes, she's female) when she first moved in. Today, I'm feeling sad about that. I didn't know the absolute treasure that had fallen into my lap.

I sold my old espresso machine at a garage sale years ago and even to this day, am note an imbiber of lattes. Too much milk for this dairy-sensitive girl. I started drinking drip coffee when Hope was born and have rarely looked back. Sweetened coffee concoctions are not my gig- even of the mocha variety. A nice americano (shots of espresso, a little water and a splash of cream) is my drink of choice. There's simply nothing better.

I am not proud to admit, that I've stood in many a coffee line, internally scoffing at the orders around me. "Iced white chocolate mocha, extra syrup, only one shot." "Carmel white chocolate mocha - a splash of hazelnut, extra whip and sprinkles, please." Dairy Queen is just down the road, folks with a nice moooooo-latte waiting just for you. Quiet snobbery - and over coffee, nonetheless.

Lee gave me lessons on our new machine. He was excited - and anxious for me to be equally excited about this wonder. I was detached - nonchalant, even. And I quickly downplayed his claims that I would LOVE this new addition to our kitchen. "It's too big. And I don't drink lattes." Hmph.

The next morning, Hope, who knows how to use our silver bullet, was begging to make some coffee for me. I finally caved. This baby loads it's own beans, grinds and provides the finished product with the touch of a button. It even cleans up after itself (seriously). Hope made three shots, I added a little water and some cream...and voila, Starbucks was in my home. I am in love - and I've yet to look back.

Sunday. The morning of coffee in my home. I've been fighting what feels like the endless bug and was sleeping in a bit on Sunday. Hope brought a cup of coffee up to me. "Mom, I made your shots, but Dad put in steamed milk. I told him you don't drink steamed milk, but he wouldn't listen." I thanked her, waited until she was down the stairs and took a sip. I recoiled. After adding a few more shots, it was passable. Lee and I embarked on a long discussion of steamed milk vs a splash of cream and what really was the difference? Did I mention my husband drinks non-fat mochas? And an occasional moo-latte. Poor guy. :)

This morning, I felt a little sorry for my percolating pot, sitting on the sidelines. I thought about brewing up some black stuff, just for old times' sake. Grinding the beans and cleaning up the mess just seemed like too much trouble - so I didn't. ;(

There aren't many coffee purists in the world, I've come to find. I have quietly kept my vigil - moving through the bean-laden highways alone. I've weathered visits to my Dad's and pots of folgers and "vanilla cinnamon coffee." I've done pods and Vertallinas in Arizona. I've even gone cold-turkey, simply because there wasn't a decent brew to be found. And now, I'm out of the closet.

:) And waiting for my little one to arise and make my second cup of heaven. Maybe she and I will share the love for strong, well-brewed java one day. I can only hope....

one small update...

This picture makes me smile. Hope is in heaven and believing her prayers for snow were answered. :) They were - it just didn't stick. Lee's in the background...wondering if he'll be shoveling later on.

It's been a few weeks since I updated. Our family has been fighting a variety of "bugs" and I have been in the thick of it. Pink eye twice in one month? Bleh. Double-bleh.

I'm still very excited to be in the season of Advent...the celebration the Hope of the world is just around the corner. Not even sure where I'd be without my Jesus. :)

Received a Christmas card from an old friend today (she's not old, but I've known her a long time). She's considering the Tacoma marathon. Brought a smile to my face.

Heard from another long ago friend via email today - smile #2. God is good.

So that's it. I'm glad I have a few weeks before I have to start training for that crazy half-marathon. My health just hasn't permitted. Lee's Dad is heading our way for Christmas. I halfway wish we were headed his way - for some warm weather and sun.

Be blessed! K

no clever titles...

and nothing hugely clever to say. Just a few ponderings. Ponderances? I'm too lazy to look it up tonight.

What comes out of the heart is TRULY an overflow of the heart. Icky heart = icky words, thoughts and expressions.

I started a little pre-marathon training today. I hit the road before the snow began - and cruised "the hill" in our hood 3 times. I'm feeling it as I type. The best part of the day was rounding the bend of my last neighborhood lap. The snow was beginning to fall and my daughter was standing in the drive - actually, dancing in the driveway - barefoot, in her pajamas - catching snowflakes with her tongue. It was the best moment.

Our "snow watch" was quite something today. Nothing stuck around - but I actually found myself praying for snow. Just so Hope's day would be complete. If you know me a little bit, you probably know I could do without that white stuff. BUT, on a weekend, I welcome it. :)

Enchanted. We went tonight (it's a movie, for those of you without a child under 10. It was cute. A little old for Hope.

Ikea. We went today. I'm convinced that most americans have closets full of gadgets that they never use. Ikea is a key contributor. That's why they sell so many organizational systems. To store the gadgets (that are often unidentifiable) they sell.

Hugh Grant. I do love him. Or his acting. Or the characters he plays. Even as the loathesome cad he plays in Bridget Jones....there's something about him. I'm halfway watching "Two Weeks Notice" right now. I enjoy him in that as well.

Like I said...nothing really to share. If you're training for the Tacoma halfmarathon...the course is "hilly" and the site says to traing for hills. Hence, my three times up and down our hill today.

Time to focus on Hu...my movie. :)